Article by
Stella .
If you’re a writer, you’ve probably had a conversation in which a new acquaintance asked you what you did (in the occupational sense), and on hearing the (somewhat awful) truth, either expressed polite surprise or barely disguised skepticism. This usually gets worse when they discover that you don’t have a distinguished list of credits to your name. It gives the impression that you are, to a certain extent, deluded. For some reason, “writer” has an aura of mystique – not only in terms of personality type but achievement as well. There always seems to be a debate going on as to who is entitled to call him or herself a writer.
Honestly, I don’t know. From a strictly grammatical point of view, one who performs the act of writing is a writer, but that argument only leads you to such counterarguments as, “If you cook food, does that make you a chef?” I guess it’s because “writer” is too all-encompassing. We can break down the classification a bit more: novelist, screenwriter, poet, journalist, blogger, and so on. From an unofficial poll that I took (admittedly – I asked a handful of people out of sheer curiosity, so that probably doesn’t even count as a poll, but anyway) novelist sounded the most intelligent, screenwriter the coolest, poet the most artistic, journalist the most political, and blogger... well... the least to be taken seriously. (If they only knew how much work went into it...)
We could always replace the word writer. Some possible replacements:
Wordsmith – my favorite, I think. Has a respectable ring to it.
Liar – we’re dangerous people, you know. We conjure things out of thin air and make them seem real.
Storyteller – a little on the romantic side.
Scribbler – comical, doesn’t take itself seriously. Has potential.
Pretentious Twit Who Would Starve Without a Day Job – brutally honest, and perhaps a tad hostile.
Bard – poetic, probably not applicable in many cases.
Obviously it’s not an easy word to replace, but it’s something to think about. And write about. Oh sorry. Wordsmith about. No, that doesn’t work. Smith? No. Lie about? That’s easily misinterpreted. Storytell? Not really. Scribble? Mm, possibly. Pretentiously Twi- we’ll just forget that one. Bard about? That’s awful. It can’t even be used as a verb.
The strictly grammatical approach will have to do for the moment. Eventually people will stop using pens and I suppose we’ll all be called typists. Or typers. Or maybe even typos, which would be ironic. I leave it to future generations to decide. At any rate, I’m sure people will still regard writing as having that aura of mystique and most aspiring writers as having that touch of delusion. So it doesn’t really matter in the long run what they call us. As long as it’s something nice. I really don’t want to be a typo.
